


Fathers

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s03e12 The Two Bartlets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-21
Updated: 2004-01-21
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Memories, Musings, and Ramblings





	Fathers

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Fathers**  
**by:** Kasey

**Character(s):** All-fic  
**Category(s):** POST-EP: The Two Bartlets   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own them. This is just my way to try and squeeze a fic out of this ep, which I didn't like very much. Changes PoV at the asterisks.  
**Summary:** Blaming airplanes, cricket, the Constitution, and Sam.  


Dad never much liked the girls I brought home. 

I mean, he never said anything 'cause he was Dad, but y'know.he always wanted me to settle down, get married, have a family. 

He never got to have grandkids. Never, he just.'Cause I was his only living kid and unless one of my old girlfriends comes back with one, I don't have any kids. 

Mandy as a mother. That's funny. That's seriously hilarious. 

But lemme tell ya what's weird about this. I'm laying here thinking about ex-girlfriends while Amy sleeps curled up beside me. And that sorta thinking always leads to bad things. 

She really liked the Tahiti thing I set up in the living room - not so much the thing itself but the fact that I went out of my way to try and make it up to her. 

Y'know the other thing I can't help but think, though? 

Dad woulda liked her. He woulda liked Amy a lot. She's smart and when I'm being an ass she calls me on it and she's beautiful. 

I sure as hell am not dating her for politics. 

* * * * * 

How do I end up being the one elected to do favours for everyone else's father? 

Bob wants me to do this 'cause he wants something to come out of his father's life-long work.last year the thing with Stephanie Gault.Hey, once I even got a kiss from Mallory 'cause I was defending her father. 

Not that I needed to be asked to do that, I was even asked not to do that but I did it anyway. 

But it seems like, somehow, I got to be the defenders of fathers around here. Or maybe just defenders of worthless projects, I'm honestly not sure these days. 

I talked to Dad last week. It's been almost a year since he stopped living a double-life and he called me to say he's getting married to the woman he's been seeing for most of my life - I don't know why he waited this long, quite honestly, but he did and he wants me to go out for the wedding. 

I lied. Well, not really - I told him I didn't know if I could get off work. And it's true - getting off work isn't.I mean there's a lot that goes on here and taking off, especially when it's not a holiday break or anything.I'd spend most of my time on the cell or with my laptop. 

But I could get it off. I could say "Hey, Leo, my Dad wants me at his wedding" and he'd say "Go, have fun, come back when you're done out there".no questions asked. 

But y'know what? I don't think I wanna go. And I left it open in case I change my mind but I.I don't like the whole idea of it, still, and the ice has thawed but that doesn't mean I endorse his remarriage. 

And maybe that makes me a bad son. I don't even know what that is anymore - the last time I saw my family? When I took Lisa out there just after we got engaged. So that's been.what? Five years now? Not quite five years, yeah. 

I mean I still talk to them a lot - Dad sends me an e-mail at least once a week to let me know how he's doing and what he hears from my sister and how things are going out there.once every month or two, he calls.Mom calls every month or so - she doesn't understand computers at all. 

But every time I end up doing favours for someone else's father or for their father's memory or whatever the case is.I find myself wondering if that'll be me someday on the other side of the table. Wanting someone to do something stupid and wasting of time so I can feel like I helped my father. 

* * * * * 

Y'know my favourite memory growing up? Dad helping me with my homework. 

I was always a good student, yeah, but inevitably you're gonna come across SOMETHING you don't understand, and in my house, when that happened, you went to Dad. 

He was brilliant. Just.so smart. I was completely in awe that someone could KNOW so much and not have their *head* explode, so. 

.yeah. 

Amazing how things change, huh? I mean, seems like just yesterday he was helping me understand precalc and today he can't remember.I mean he can barely remember my name sometimes and that's a little.He thought it was the general election. And that I still go to bed at 8:30 like I did when I was in grade school. I can't remember the last time I was out of the White House before 11:30, let alone 8:30.and he'll go out of it, then snap back into reality and it's like he doesn't realize he was out of it. 

It's one of those things, y'know? You hear about other people going through something and of course you think how terrible it is but it's not even close to when it's YOUR father and YOUR family and. 

Ever since Mom died.jeez, that was.almost seven years ago.I mean he's been having trouble. At first I just figured it was grief, then I figured 'well he's getting a little older now it's not too surprising.' But now it's gotten to the point where I don't know what to do anymore. 

My little brother Ricky and his wife moved back into the house to take care of Dad and I talk to them a lot about what's going on, I just. 

I was always the favourite. I was Daddy's little girl, I was.I mean it wasn't like Dad didn't love my three brothers but he wanted SO MUCH for me to do well. He lived and died with every minute of the first campaign and he.he still watches CNN every day in hopes he sees one of my briefings. But sometimes.he turns on the TV and can't remember what I'm calling myself now - and he sees me on the briefing snippets and under the video feed of me it says "CJ Cregg" instead of "Claudia" and he gets confused. 

I've started thinking lately.Maybe if I was out there. Maybe if I was out in California staying with him and helping Ricky and them take care of Dad more.if I wasn't 3000 miles away.maybe things would be different, maybe he'd be doing better than he is. 

But what can ya do, y'know? 

* * * * * 

Well, it's official: Josh is as much of a workaholic as his father. 

Of course, not like in his case being like his father is a bad thing, I mean.Noah Lyman was good man. 

Bein' like my father, on the other hand, is not a good thing. 

'Course, the way I figure, coulda been worse - he coulda lasted longer, it coulda been eighteen years of that crap. 

And that's a horrible way to think but it's the truth. 

'Cause what good comes from dwelling on my lousy childhood? Nothing. It sucked. Yeah. But it's over. It's been over now for somethin' like 40 years, why go back and relive it all the time? 

And I could blame my father for all kinds of things - the drinking and the pills included. And to some extent, I do, ain't nothin' but a family thing, I told Jordon, and I suppose. But it's not like I get pissed at him. What good comes from being pissed at someone who's been dead 45 years this coming March? 

Not a damn thing. 

So meanwhile I just tried, y'know, buckin' the trend a little. I didn't end up dead by a self-inflicted gunshot, that's something to be glad for. And I never so once as laid a hand upon Jenny and Mallory - I mean I hugged 'em but.I never hit 'em, not once. No matter how drunk I got, I never did. 

And I know I wasn't the *best* father a girl could ask for, I mean I drank and took pills and was sure as hell no picnic to be around.I made her cry more than I should've.Mal and Jenny both.but by God, despite it all.she's turned out a terrific young lady, she's so smart.so much like her mother it drives me crazy sometimes.but so great. Despite having me as a father, I think sometimes. 

* * * * * 

Y'know what my sister says to me sometimes? 

That she's glad I'm the one who takes care of her. That she misses Mom a ton, but that she's glad it's me instead of Dad. 

They talked at one point about trying to track down our father, have Deena go live with him.I said no way. Where the hell has he been? And they thought maybe she'd be better suited with HIM than with me? 

Hell no. 

He left when she was two weeks old. When I was nine. And even before that, I don't remember him being much of a father - he brought home women who scared me and smoked a lot. And made Mom cry. Then he left and I was actually a little glad. I mean sure it was harder but who needed him? It was me and Mom and Deena and we did all right for ourselves. 

Then.Then it was just me and Deena. Then it was a lot harder. 

I'd been working various jobs since I was old enough for people to hire me - I babysat the kids next door when I was 12, got a paper route, worked in restaurants, caddied.All that stuff. I didn't mind it - that was my share, y'know? I took care of Deena and worked little jobs to help make ends meet a little, 'cause Mom worked hard and all but she thought we deserved to have sorta nice stuff. 

There's a real nice woman next door who has a granddaughter Deena's age who lives with her. So it's nice 'cause when I've gotta work late or when I've gotta be outta town awhile, Deena stays there sometimes and it makes me feel, y'know, not so worried about it. 

I'm like her dad, y'know? I've been taking care of her since she was born and she trusts my authority - she's at that age where her friends are starting to try and rebel but she doesn't 'cause she knows they could take her away from me if she gets into trouble and she doesn't want that. 

After all - it's just me and her now. We gotta watch each other. 

* * * * * 

How dare he bring that up? 

I honestly didn't understand whatever metaphor he was trying to make - how does what my father did relate to affirmative action? And he made it sound like I'm suffering from a multiple-personality disorder. 

By the way, in mental health, that's one of the more common mistakes - people thinking that when someone has two opposite personalities, it's schizophrenia because schizophrenia means "split-brain".it's actually not the case. 

What I wanna know is where the hell does he get off speaking like that in the Oval Office? In any room? 

My personal business is my personal business. I've said it to the press, and now I say that to YOU, Toby, who thinks you're so high-and-mighty you can bring up anything any damn place you want? 

It was a long time ago - why bring it up? It's not like the reason I said the stupid thing about Affirmative Action was 'cause of my father, that's absurd. It was the ultimate wavering on position. It's what politicians do. 

I don't go around asking about other people's fathers - maybe I should, but it's my belief that, oftentimes, the past doesn't hold things people wanna talk about. So I don't even bring it up, neither do most people. And to some people, doing what their father would've done is a great thing - Josh's father, from what CJ's told me of her father and when I met him a couple years ago at a fundraiser out in Napa, he's a good man, honest, hard-working, very bright. Or - to be more correct - to some people being like their PARENTS isn't such a bad thing, doing what their parents would've done.Charlie admired his mother a lot. 

I don't fit that case but I don't go around shouting it from the rooftops - What would be the point in that? Seeming weak and petty and unable to get over something that happened so long ago? 

Forget it. 

One more thing like that from Toby and I'm gonna fire his ass.. 


End file.
